Running, climbing and journaling about race

First, the pictures so if you don't want to read about the race interactions I had this week, you can click out whenever you want.  Most of you know my Birthday Challenge running goals so today I did my second 17-miler and as of today, I have 22 days to go of my run-everyday-for-51-days goal.  So let's just say the second 17-miler was as uneventful as the first but less boring.  Must've been catching all those sunrises and a stellar playlist.  

It was a good week of running and fun indoor climbing.  John-Pio left today for Door County with his friend and he's also in a Shakespeare camp all week, thanks to the Fortune fam.  Misa and Brad leave Thursday and my dad arrives tomorrow for 3 weeks!  

Here's what the week looked like. 

big sun

off the beaten path

good indoor problems at boulders

John-Pio is training too

in hopes of consecutive 5.1 times up and down

saturday (yesterday) was my favorite morning run initially under ominous sky

A lot of you got out and several of you competed -- so psyched for all the updates and good news!  In the world of everydayness I document these events knowing whatever interactions you and I have, there's always a chance to do better. 

On Tuesday, July 14, I was making small talk with a woman in an elevator and this is what she said to me: 

Do you use a special product for your face?  I can help you get rid of the freckles - the spots right there (as she reached over and swiftly waved her fingers across my nose) that you have. You're Asian?  I don't know any Asians with freckles.  

Well.  Frankly, I was taken aback. I didn't speak to the freckles - the spots I've known all my life.  I was polite and said, "No thanks, but I wish you luck finding people who believe in your product."  And turned away.  

On July 11, 2015 this happened:

Misa and I were on a walk around Monona Bay and ran into a group of 3 cyclists stopped at an intersection.  They had a map spread out over their handlebars and as we passed they called out, “Does this road connect to the bike path?  We’re trying to get here,” pointing to their destination.  We talked it through and I pointed out the route for them to take - they weren’t far off from it, actually. We continued talking about the route in detail when a woman (white) walked by, sized each of us up and down, and then said, “You need help?  I know this area really well,” completely brushing aside me and Misa as if it weren’t obvious that we were the odd ones out - the two not on bikes OR dressed in bike gear without a map in hand.  How could we possibly be helpful?  

Wait. What?  Were Misa and I invisible?  Wasn’t it as clear as sunshine that we were on foot, on the sidewalk, talking animatedly to this nice group of cyclists?  A few things ran through my head but my initial impulse was to just silently walk away, which we did without - literally without saying a word. I felt so annoyed.  And when neither the cyclists or that woman said, “Thank you!” or “Bye, have a nice day,” it was so evident what had happened.  I don’t know about you but when someone asks me a question and someone else steps in or interrupts and answers for me, I feel undermined.  Even if that woman was being courteous and helpful, it was an example of what the unconscious does - it gives people the privilege to make assumptions. In this experience, we were basically invisible.  And while this might be ambiguous, it really wasn't.  Unconscious assumptions?  Check.  

There was one other but it's tiring.  Which is why personal and public writing is so important, and why hip hop can be liberating, either because I relate to others narratives or because I can write a few verses myself - definitely text of freedom. 

Here's something from earlier this week - working my weaknesses :)

Campus from Vera Naputi on Vimeo.

News on Race, Love and Getting after it

trails

It's okay to document every day micro-aggressions.  It pushes us all to be more robust in our thinking and approach about the relationship between race, culture and class, among the several others.  Here's what happened to me recently: 

1) In May, I was on a plane heading west to Las Vegas seated next to an older woman from Cleveland, OH.  She was sweet from the moment I squeezed into the seat next to her and clearly ready for conversation, she said: "There are so many people on this plane with passports!  Now which country are you from?"
 
2) Misa and I were in Boston and Chicago last week and if prompted she might tell you first about one of our best cab rides into the city.   We had a few hits and misses, but this one was a hit in spite of how it started.  The first thing the driver asked me was if I was Chinese.  Seriously.  No context, no purpose - just if I was Chinese.  After telling him my family is from Guam and we are Chamorro, he followed up with: "Oh so you're Portugese?" 

3) Finally and thankfully the last experience happened at a Boston Red Sox game in one of the outside bars at the infamous Fenway Stadium and our super enthusiastic server said, "You look like my nieces best friend.  Let me show you a picture of her  . . . She is Thai.  Are you Thai?"

Sheesh. I hope to get a break for at least a few months from these every day acts that represent how stereotypes, discrimination, biases and prejudices generalize.  The real deal though isn't about others and their mostly unintentional demeaning actions; it's more a responsibility I have to reflect on what I do and can do better.  

In the professional world, I spent time with a group of teachers and instructional coordinators engaged in critical literacy work.  During one incredibly important discussion where contention turned to really good work, I felt psyched to be a part of #TheWork to facilitate understanding about critical literacy.  The fact that teaching literacy ought to be planned and thought about through the lens of privilege and power -- the essence of social justice and critical race theory made the process fun and exhausting both, the kind of work at the end of the day that tells us all there obviously is more work to be done. 

So now it's 15 days since the last day of school and I'm sleeping and running and climbing.  And thinking and feeling and reading.  I finished reading three books I'd recommend:  Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chaste - if you are a fan (or not a fan) of cartoons, still pick this up.  It's a great memoir.  Also check out A Prayer Journal by Flannery O'Conner which was especially purposeful to me as her beautiful complexity and forthright questions along with a full range of emotional upsets and realities both startled and connected me to back to that place of love and spirituality.  If you're interested in writing education, read Thomas Newkirk's Holding On To Good Ideas in a Time of Bad Ones - it's resourceful and makes you think.  If y'all have recommendations, I'm ready for a few new ones to add to my summer list. 

Here's what the climbing scene looked like yesterday at the Lake.  Flat Iron is so classic and kinda f'in hard.  Brad held his own climbing and being the ultimate spotter-boy and Lisa unlocked the sequence and made the problem classic-fun.  The good thing about quartzite is it takes you back to climbing basics: footwork and super subtle micro moves that make big differences. 

 view from the edge

brad still in mocs, still got the footwork

warming up

lisa

micro-foot placement

deadpoint or not

spot the poison ivy

if you roll your blood will flow - what did I do without this?

In other news activity oriented . . .

this was a 9 minute train during my run

a long days play ends with John-Pio doing his own work

reminds me we're always in training

Wanted to share my favorite quote:

Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked while the bamboo or willow survive by bending with the wind. --Bruce Lee 

Get out there.  Find the bamboos and willows.  --V

Stereotypes and Race: A Sense of Belonging

"If we ever move from Madison can we move some place where I'm not the only Chamorro in my class?"

Pause.

There are so many underlying microdynamics in Misa's question.  I felt her words so I probed a little.  Afterwards, I felt pained and wrote a poem.  Then a letter to myself.  Then I got on the internet and searched for teaching jobs on Guam.  I followed this up with a look at the census bureau to find out where other Chamorros are living.  I reminisced and recalled my childhood when I never thought about other kids looking like me because well, we all kind of looked like each other.  

What is it Misa feels but cannot exactly articulate?  If what she's feeling at 10 years old is similar to what I felt at 18 when I moved from the familiar to the not-so-familiar, then let me say that it's all recognizable - that sense of powerlessness, self-consciousness, intimidation - for being born as who she is experiencing things in a place that belies acceptance and transparency.

So what is the 'so what' of this experience?  Just 5 months ago at the end of last school year a team from my school was starting the transition process with the 4 elementary schools that feed into Sherman Middle School.  The primary goal was to gather as much information about each incoming 5th grader in order to create balanced teaching teams.  I'm talking about strategically looking at all aspects of the child in terms of academic levels and behavioral needs, language, ethnicity, and gender.

Admittedly, I initially balked at the time consuming effort this involved.  Interviews at the elementary schools with 5th grade teachers followed by meetings to make decisions that included recapping the child's needs which inevitably led to short discussions about the match-up - that entire process was just too much for me to imagine conducting at the end of the school year.  And anyway as a public school teacher, I've always been of the mind that you get what you get cause we teach 'em all.

That's true, still.

But after going through the process, and having met the 54 students in my classes, I could not be more thankful that there's a transition team in place.  What I learned was that each and every incoming 5th grade student was given remarkably careful attention.  What we discussed was that perhaps a "quirky" kid ought to be with at least one other kid with similar unique traits.  I discovered that there are kids who are really supportive of kids with specific special needs and that perhaps they should stay together.    I helped make decisions about academic placements so the wildly varying learning needs were balanced for proper differentiation.  We talked about kids of color - in particular, Hmong, Latino and African kids having others of the same ethnicity in the same class.  And in fact, it was pretty cool when a Pacific Islander was intentionally placed on my team.

I bring up this transition process as a way to give thanks that I was part of a process that was culturally, ethnically, academically, and - most of all - dynamically aware.   It's not all perfect, but it's sensitive and intentional.  After thinking about what Misa's question really meant, I empathized for her and for other young students who have felt uncomfortable or oppressed or out-of-place or intimidated or insufficient.  I mean, I know how it feels as an adult, but I don't really know what this feels like for a 10 year old. So in the spirit of this - that as grown-ups, we can find and build a sense of belonging no matter what, I conducted my own question and answer session using just a few questions I've been asked over time. . .

1) What would you say to a kid who says s/he feels "out of place"?   What if it's a kid of color - what would you do?  

Me: There are no right answers.  I am most comfortable sticking to addressing what I know, which is that I'm a minority from the island of Guam and a Pacific Islander and sometimes it's just hard to be the only one.  I can infer that at times, Misa feels disempowered so it might be confusing for her when her sense of belonging becomes an issue.  I would love it if educators would learn about the cultures of kids they teach and not just on a cursory or surface level - but really learned about them.  And what I would do is continue to do the personal work to unlearn internalized racism that has altered who I am.  Maybe that kind of work will in turn help Misa's sense of belonging.

2) What would you say or do when a kid of color stands out for being naughty?

Me:  I'm assuming you're referring to discipline and I'm assuming you're asking this because you've been called a racist or want to prevent this from happening?  Well.  Discipline means "to teach," and the purpose of setting limits is to help kids manage those moments when they feel powerless.  To be real, lets take race out of this - most of my students come with their own baggage.  However, I'm of the mind that I need to promote kids' commitment to learning, and more than that, to help kids learn and understand the value of being fair and just and how to navigate the world through those lenses.  So I'd discipline him or her with equity and fairness, as I do my own.

3) What resources are there to help understand the subtleties and dynamics around race?

Me: Tons, and lots of credible authors.  But just take a tour of MMSD and surrounding districts and private schools as well, and observe what you see.  Come to my school if you want to see the differences that exist on the east and west sides of this small city and you can take note of how geography has an impact on institutionalized racism.  Go to Misa's classroom to witness student life, and while there, look to your left and right and see where kids of color are placed.  As happy and engaged as Misa is - and as satisfied as I am with her learning in that school, there are some race-related problems in that building. And to answer the question - consider pursuing topics about cultural differences, development of kids and adolescents, racism and its effects on White people and people of color, personal narratives and memoirs from poets, artists, musicians and the hip hop community.

Actively pursue a venue with older folks of color where race, ethnicity, and cultures are discussed.  You can learn a lot.  Maybe even be transformed.  Draw upon the insights of others.  My former teaching colleague and dear friend, Ms. Matson could hands down, address the underlying microdynamics of Misa's question in a frank and open way.  She'd remind me that her walk was long and at times really, really terrible, but as a pillar of resiliency and wisdom, she would tell me to never diminish Misa's feelings about being different.  I know that my search for being me as an educator and parent came from a strong mentorship by Ms. Matson.

Above all, the main thing is to stay open and listen to the words from your kids and students - from the witty and blunt to the abstract and linear, to the words that seem small or inconsequential and even to the torrential rain of words that seem like blather.  Listen and then do something to cultivate their sense of belonging.