Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Facilitating Emotions on the Ground

On the go facilitating student emotions
A student came up to me on Friday in the midst of group work and said, "Ms. Naputi I feel angry and I don't know why." A minute prior to that interaction, there wasn't anything happening within her group to set her off and she even told me it had nothing to do with her group members or the task. In fact, she said she was having fun with the project. We talked for 5 minutes max. Then she went back to her group and 15 minutes later, participated in a pretty kick-ass presentation of the food web. 

Imagine that type of exchange throughout the day. And I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about kids who bounce around like that. Some keep those feelings to themselves, others talk it out with a peer, a few act it out in disruptive ways, and only 2 or 3 are bold and comfortable enough to approach a teacher to release those random moments of anger. 

During passing time, I had a quick discussion with a group of girls, including that student, about current events, which is a weekly discussion we have on Fridays. They were clearly animated and eager to share what mattered to them in the news, and disappointed we ran out of time. That incredibly brief exchange was fueled with anger and confusion about community and world news. The role educators play in promoting peace within ourselves and our students is tremendous which got me thinking again about being intentional and concrete as teachers. Here are two suggestions: 

Facilitate conversations about injustices. Be for real. Protecting our kids by avoiding issues of turmoil is a delay strategy. They need every opportunity to be a citizen starting with an outlet to express their feelings. For the Clinton-Trump debate, every student was required to watch at least 15 minutes. Many watched more or sat through the whole thing. The first thing on their minds Tuesday morning was downloading their feelings of anger related to the debate. They did this in community, safely, and instructionally. And in the end, I asked the question: Now what problem do you want to solve?  And most directly identified race and equality as their issue to solve. Now the real work begins. 

Call out divisiveness. Teach words like spew and variations of the word, system, so they can identify bias, points of views, threats, and preferences. They need lots of examples and modeling to be able to withhold and denounce blanket statements and generalizations. I listen very closely to what my kids are saying and the words and phrases they choose. When they overtly used "ghetto," we investigated that word historically and contextually. When they used "slay" and "bitch" freely, we went to the source and together critically analyzed lyrics and video and words in the dictionary. Words and ideas have connotations that create divisiveness. Equality suffers when even the seemingly smallest things go unquestioned. 

So that's what I've been thinking about lately, especially in response to my student's statement about feeling angry and not knowing why. I"m not saying her anger was because of injustices or divisiveness, but when you're inundated throughout the day with bits of subtle pieces here and there, the source gets muddled. So I have to start somewhere and my reflection led me there. The truth is we all have that lil bit of anger churning around and sometimes we don't know why.  But the good news is that along with waging a battle of anger within yourself, there is the chance to also wage the battle for peace, and that's one thing we can sort through with our students. 

On that peace-filled note, here's what has been happening on the home and school front. I hope you all got a chance to read Kenji's interview (my last post) and are doing something outside in nature!

Family visit to see Ms. Matson who subbed for me :)

Go see this lovely bartender in action at DLUX!

The fam all in.

Weekend pasttime with this lil guy on the quarterback sack

Teammates and friends show the love.
Nature from the football field. Love the sport and them :)

Have a great week everyone!













Sunday, August 21, 2016

Storytellers 'n Summertime Loves

One part sand, one part work, one part reading stories, one part writing stories, and all parts family-hood
I am a sucker for stories and storytellers. One goal I had this summer was to write a story a day. And I did. A few were long ones but most were short narratives or poems or raps. I took a stab at flash fiction which super sucked cause my imagination is a funnel. But from that process, I learned that elements of a good story can come from shared experiences - some sprinkled with exaggerations and embellished ideas and thoughts that are grounded in values and lessons, and above all, told with heart and damn good punch lines. I learned that exactness and accuracy in story telling are boring :) - that I learned from these authentic people I know along coastal California, the Wind River range in Wyoming, ridges of Colorado and Arizona, and from the lakeshores in Wisconsin.

This was a summer of stories. From my father's memories of WWII on Guam and re-telling dreams he is having of late, to Brad retracing his paper route and childhood in AZ, to Emma's early memories of Wyoming and Misa's intricate expression of the Pacific Ocean, to everyone's written goodbyes after spreading Nana's ashes, to our most recent emotional time at the 60/80 Skinner Brothers reunion where every single story had context, relevance, and depth - these were just a few of the story highlights.

I think you all got a story or more in this summer - whether telling one or listening to one - it all matters. Cause really, something I have come to realize is that even one story can be a lifeline. Even one story can help connect or make connections, release confusion or prompt a few questions, and this process is waaaay better than a series of videos or TV shows you passively watch on digital download. You know what I mean? You get real characters, a real setting, and a real plot.

So in the spirit of many of us returning to school routines, and to prep you all to respond with substance to "How was your summer?" get going on a story today.

These are my top iphone story pics.

first look first feel ocean love 

playmates good, bad, sad, glad, mad 

forever learning, searching, questioning, thinking, stressing

papa joe's calms strengthens his nerves 

first cousin love near and far 

generational love noticeable in Werntz squint 
sibling laughter transcend distance and time  

riding dirt and gears makes gnarly girl 

rise and shine for this new thing 

Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde at APT together for first family picnic :) 

mighty west coast, west mountains, midwest kids (photo credit: Becca Skinner) 
spreading ashes into the wind at Burnt Lake, dropped off some lines of love 
wyoming desert stop split rock where Brad overnighted a few times
Adding to the running and climbing Birthday Challenge year 52, a little round of pull ups
summing up summer with queen anne's lace, wildflower dedication (photo credit: Maggie!) 



Friday, January 15, 2016

What's Going On: Chris Eggert on Everydayness and Passion


One purpose of my multi-authored blog is to share in the power of personal narratives. I've known Chris Eggert for several years as a super strong rock climber, and I'm really psyched that he accepted my challenge to help build this archive of human experiences. For those wondering how others pursue their potential, you'll appreciate Chris' realistic expression of balancing his life with family, career, and passions.  It's one thing to know someone as a climber, but to know pieces of their history and everydayness, really adds depth to who they are as a person. I enjoyed interacting with Chris through these questions, and know him better today than I did the day before. Enjoy!

Just the Basics: where you're from, family, birthday, marriage, education?

I’m from Twin Cities mostly, after spending a couple years living on an Air Force base in California when I was little.  I’m the middle child of 3, and that’s supposed to mean something about my personality I’m sure.  I’m a Virgo which apparently also makes me  practical, modest, and quiet yet persuasive.  I married Cari whom I met at Loyola medical school  in Chicago.  Traveling, camping, canoeing, fishing, and hiking make us tick in sync.  We have 2 boys, ages 5 and 10 and moved to Madison about 8 years ago after carefully looking all over the country for places that had both good schools and great rock climbing nearby.  

How would you describe yourself as a child?  I questioned authority freely, but was able to toe the line for the most part.  I was also a bit of a slow thinker.   I was in soccer for several years as a kid before I started to wonder why I was in it.  I really never enjoyed it all that much.  I remember asking my mom if I really had to be in soccer again one summer.  I think she was surprised to hear me ask since she assumed I was in it because I enjoyed it. After that I became sort of stubborn and wanted to know WHY I had to do  things, it wasn’t good enough to just say that I needed to do them.  I suppose this attitude persists to today.  

Do you think characteristics or temperament or interests as a child inform your passion(s) today?  Definitely being outdoors as much as i was influenced my adult choices.  Additionally, a slow plodding pace through life eventually lead to discovering climbing as a pursuit that I really enjoy and have been doing for 13-14 years now, and recently rediscovering my love of cross country ski racing.  I skied on the XC ski team in high school but it’s a hard sport to dabble in if you race.  You’re either all in or you’re not doing it.  Now that I think about it, that’s part of my difficulty with all my passions.  I don’t like to do them half way, despite the necessary nature of compromise that permeates any personal pursuit when you are married with kids.  



What is a favorite memory as a child/adolescent? Any memory where I was outside.  I have vivid memories of hiking, skiing, and snowshoeing at our lake cabin.  Still feels like home when I get the scent of a pine forest.  My parents took us canoe camping in Canada every year growing up.  We weren’t allowed to bring a walkman or any other electronics.  Being unplugged for a couple weeks at a time nowadays is heaven.  I dropped my cell phone in a hot tub on vacation last year  - best vacation ever.  My kids are now calling that “going old school” on vacation - no electronic devices.  

What is a story you remember? When I was 18 or 19, I  ran out of money in the Sao Paulo bus station in Brazil.  I just miscalculated the amount of money I had.  Of course this was 25 years ago, long before cell phones and easy access to credit cards.  So, I did what I had seen others doing: I asked others for money to get where I was going.  It was an incredibly humbling experience.  It took a long time to get enough to get a ticket out of there.  You never know how others ended up at a point in their lives, so when you see someone asking for money or help that could be you next week.  I’ve been very lucky on this journey around the sun; I acknowledge that every day, and try to instill that thankfulness in my kids as well.  A funny ending to that story -- I was finally in line to buy a ticket with all my spare change, and I ended up right behind a guy I knew, who said “you should have just asked me for some money!”.  

Tell me about your education -- do you have a favorite or strong memory of school? Can you tell me about a teacher who influenced you?  Ralph Leischner was a professor in medical school that I really admired.  He taught our pathology course and also was one of my small group physician mentors.  He was perhaps the smartest and most humble teacher, while also being very sure of his convictions.  He nailed me on the head once by saying I was “respectfully irreverent”.  You could never walk away from meeting with him and not be awed and feel better than when you started.  I wanted to be like him and enjoy my job as much as he clearly did, and not lose sight of what motivated him to be a physician in the first place.   I miss him.  

Who else in life has influenced you?  Two coaches have really struck chords in my life.  First was my cross country ski coach in high school, John Strand.  He was able to connect differently to each person on the team, pick out what they needed to do to improve, and encourage them to get it done.  Not only that but he still does the Birkie every year - I hope I can do that at his age.  Ray Obermiller was my college swim coach.  He was an incredible man, able to walk the very fine line between coach, teacher, friend, and mentor to anyone who walked through the door.  I was not a very fast swimmer but that never seemed to matter to Obie.  He believed that I could be, and that was enough to improve.  The common thread was inclusiveness and belief that someone could achieve something that even they weren’t sure they could.  That’s powerful.  

What do you think we can do to encourage and support equity personally and professionally?  If by equity you mean treating everyone with respect and dignity, I think that starts young.  We ought to be teaching kids that everyone is the same despite how we look, where we came from, or where we happen to be at that moment.  When I was in about 4th or 5th grade, a friend of mine said to me “you had that black lady for a 1st grade teacher didn’t you?”  I had to stop and think about that before I could answer.  It had never crossed my mind that her skin color was different from mine, she was just my teacher.  Until you tell kids that someone is different, they just accept that person for who they are.  

In what ways does community influence you and your decisions personally and professionally?  I think of community as a woven tapestry, and each of us is a thread running through it.  But this tapestry is constantly changing as our life circumstances change.  I think we surround ourselves with people who share similar interests and goals, and as those change, our thread through the tapestry moves to touch different lives.  Sometimes I feel that I take more away from the tapestry than I give, and sometimes I feel that my thread is holding part of it together.  Every decision you make has some influence on someone else, and that in part should guide how you make your decision.  Who is your thread supporting?  Who is supporting you?  


In what ways did your family influence your own family values and traditions?  I think the best or most useful advice I got from my parents was that hard work pays off.  

What challenges do you experience as a parent?  I wasn’t convinced I would be a very good parent, but as it turns out it’s a lot more fun than it seems like it would be.  I struggle a little with the line between being a friend and a parent, as well as the usual battle of selfish pursuits versus parenting time.  Somehow we make it work, but some weeks I’m not sure how it will work until it’s over.  My parents definitely let me fail (a lot) to learn lessons the hard way.  This is something I know I will have to allow to happen, but I’m not looking forward to it.  

Questions your kids and wife have -- what do you think they’d want to know about you? I hope they see me as genuine, honest, and hard working.  As long as everyone tries their hardest the outcome doesn’t matter and I want my kids to understand that.  

How are your kid(s) like you? Or your wife?  I think our older child is more like my wife’s personality with my lack of a sense of danger or any type of fear, while our younger one questions every rule (like me) but has a very healthy fear of danger, or a sense of self preservation (more like my wife).  So they each inherited a bit of both of us, just kind of opposites.  It will be interesting to see how these characteristics evolve over time.  

Which aspects of your job do you enjoy? Feel challenged by?  I’m a physician - specifically I care for patients with kidney disease.  The people I take care of often came from very different backgrounds than me and or have very different values and perceptions of health.  My main challenge is how to communicate effectively to help change the things I can change, while attempting to carefully and empathetically manage the things I can’t change.  

What lessons has your work life taught you?  Every day upright and healthy is a gift.  

What did you imagine you'd be doing today?  I can’t imagine doing anything else.  I didn’t mean to blindly follow in my dad’s footsteps.  In fact I really tried to follow other career paths.  I just couldn’t get all that interested in anything else.  

What is/are your passion(s)?  When the snow is fast I feel like I am flying when I cross country ski.  A couple years ago I started competing in biathlon, which is cross country ski racing with sharpshooting stages mixed in.  It was something I always wanted to try and got hooked immediately.  My other personal passion is rock climbing.  I love the companionship, the places it takes me, and the fact that during a hard climb, absolutely nothing invades my thoughts.  It commands an intense focus that won’t be broken by anything else.  These pursuits are really perfect compliments to each other, seasonally.  I suppose I could climb ice as is the fashion around here, but that just sounds miserable.  

What makes you stop and go “Wow!”  A beautiful sunrise, seeing mountains again after a period of time without, and watching a bird of prey in flight.  I was skiing through the woods in northern Minnesota a couple weeks ago and a great grey owl swooped at me.  He then landed on a branch maybe 10 feet from me and we had a staring contest, until I moved to get my phone to snap a photo.  “Wow”.  

Short term goal related to your passions (athletics, training, or hobby )?  Someday I’d like to break back into wave 1 in the Birkie.  It might be a couple years before that happens.  

How do you incorporate your family/kids into your passions?  I try not to push them.  I figure if they see how much I enjoy something, they will at least want to try it (and they do).  But the minute it becomes a chore or a forced activity they will want to stop.  So I let them decide.  

High point in Life:  Wedding, kid’s births.  A random weekday off with my wife.  

Turning point in Life:  Failing to get accepted to medical school the first time around.  I applied late and didn’t take it seriously.  Lesson learned.  

What scares you?  Global warming and Donald Trump.  

What are 20 things you are grateful for? My wife and kids (that’s three), cross country skis, rocks to climb, canoes, meteor showers, cadbury cream eggs, coffee, friends, V8 motors, my kidneys (that’s two), a job I don’t hate, clean tap water, flush toilets, a furnace and A/C, the capacity to heal, and the southwest.  

*I love this picture of Chris and his family - it captures the spirit of his life and loves!  






















Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Summer Vacation

Here's what I've been up to since summer break started . . .

Scott and David got married June 28th!  

 Teary eyes of joy. 

 Papa Rick danced with all of them! 

After the wedding, Geri came to Madison and the sibs hung out. 

Love them

Geri left and then it was my amazing Hip Hop conference. 

Hopped on a plane to go home to CA. 

First stop: Ventura CA to spend time with Dad. 

It's all about sun and fun.

Next stop Vandenberg Air Force Base to see my nephew.

Daniel's awesome - totally dedicated. 

Running with my bro along the marina. 

Hanging out in Dad's backyard.

Auntie Ruth and Misa :)

My highlight was the plum tree

Reaching high for the perfect one. 

Got it! 

Barbecuing flesh

Mmmmmmmmm . . . 

Some uke time. 

Cousin time with Stevie and my dad

Of course there's Over the Line

Topped off the first few days with natural yellows.