Monday, May 26, 2014

The Letter N

This weekend was a taste of what is to come when we hit the letter Z.  Tomorrow John-Pio and his class are having lunch together in their classroom because N is for No Lunch in the Cafeteria tomorrow.  I'm constantly kicking my students out of my classroom so I'll be damned if I'm going to apply that one.  Instead, tomorrow is for No Doubts.

No doubts that what we do next, like in the next minute, or tomorrow or the day after next, is based on choices we make.  Misa and I sort of pride ourselves on the fact that we don't have weird habits.  This came up because she noticed she'd chew on her hand when she was concentrating and since it bothered her, she made a decision to quit.  A few days later she said, "Habits are a choice, I've decided not to start weird habits."  There's just no doubt in my mind that she's right. 

No doubts that the next 13 days are going to be hard.  Not because of the kids and learning, or because I'm anxious for it to end, but because it's going to be HOT.  And there is nothing worse than a room of 50 adolescents in a non-air-conditioned space.  I have no doubt that the fans will fail (one already has) and that kids will forget to take daily showers. 

No doubts that connections are a choice.  I'm learning that reciprocity is an amazing way to keep it real.  I can read fake, and I repel subtle nuances from the effects of apathy or passive behavior.  I have no doubt that the people I choose today are ones I have connections with in spite of it all.  My family for one - there's no doubt that my mom, dad, sister, brother, nephews, and niece are mandatory connections - not because I'm obligated, but because no matter what, I can't help it - it's a conscious choice to be connected.

No doubts that playing basketball yesterday brought back some nostalgia, contentment, and desire.  Nostalgia for my Jr. high and high school basketball coaches who taught me the gain from the pain of running lines, doing drills over and over again, and the consequences of complaining.  Contentment for feeling connected to a rocky but undeniably lucky past.  And desire for wanting to play street ball in the park every week just for fun!

No doubts  that I am madly in love with my life - as a teacher, a mom, a runner and climber.  Seriously.  I mean, I stress and feel burdened and pained for some of the time, but who doesn't?  Perspective is so powerful.  Last Friday I ran into two former students from the year 2007-08 on State Street, and to see them still hanging out together, to witness their styles - upgraded, and to hear them say, "Really Ms. Naputi.  We were just talking about you, like 45 minutes ago . . .  And here you are."  That was super dope to be a part of their timing especially because I have not seen those two since middle school.  And as a mom and wife, I just feel like I'm living a life that is way beyond bearable or even satisfactory - I am in my element with Misa and John-Pio.  To date I've been up and down with running and climbing, but lately, I've had the ebb of climbing and the flow of running so I'm just going with it knowing that next week there is no doubt that that will switch on me. 

My final No doubts goes to Brad.  Lots of traveling and seemingly parallel lives but every time we connect I'm reminded that Love is a choice and I have no doubts about that choice. 

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